Cloud

Lying on my back
Stretching my glutes
Looking out the upside-down window
Leaves, wind, smears on the glass...

A cloud
Lit up bright by the sun passing through
Glowing delicate rainbow colours
Lavender, eggshell blue, peach...
Like a pearl, or a paua shell.

My brain starts speculating about angles, refraction
While the colours make my heart sing
Tears in my eyes.
How to explain how exquisite it is
To hold both?

And again that familiar stab in my heart
I am alone
There is nobody here to share all this with
The beauty I see around me
The beauty inside me

And when I try,
The recoil
The good, kind, evolved people, all fixed
Who can't see past my need, my pain, my brokenness
Who can't see, or won't see, or just
Pass over the beauty
Looking for someone simple and uncomplicated
Someone who's already done the work
Like them.